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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22939978">I saw you as another god</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamlets_ghost/pseuds/hamlets_ghost'>hamlets_ghost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wolf 359 (Radio)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(not explicit but trust me he is), M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Pre-Canon, Trans Daniel Jacobi, You get to hear some of Jacobi's thougths of Kepler, blood mention, isn't everything kepcobi that though?, unhealthy relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:02:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22939978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamlets_ghost/pseuds/hamlets_ghost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>For you, sir, only for you. The sparks, the explosions, my beating heart. Only for you. Do you see? Please, tell me you see me. <em></em></em>
</p><p> </p><p> (I am not good at summaries)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I saw you as another god</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything about Kepler seemed cleaner. Crisp and cold. Like newly fallen snow under your boot on an early morning where the world feels empty. Winter air rushing into your lungs after the first inhale. Like snowflake patterns; controlled, unpredictable. And yet. So, so beautiful. Jacobi would never be tired of looking at the other man. Taking in his form, his movements. Always precise and with purpose. Jacobi wouldn’t call himself sloppy; he was a ballistic expert and used to handle small wires and keep his hands steady even under immense pressure. But looking at Kepler, he still felt like he would never reach that level of control. Of cleanness.</p><p>Kepler was changing his shirt – sticky and rigid from coagulated blood – revealing his muscled back and arms to Jacobi who was sitting on the bed; his own clothes less bloody, but covered in dust and other dirt from the explosion. Kepler’s back was a map of beauty marks and scars. Chaos compared to everything else about the man. His hands itches to run his fingers over the rippling muscles, tracing the scars, and kissing the moles. He would never. Not unless Kepler wanted him too. Ordered him to. It was easy like that. He didn’t need to want stuff, just do what he was asked to. Just follow Kepler’s orders and not think. Not feel. In the beginning it had felt wrong; not being able to question his orders nor deny them. Now it felt like a blessing. To be able to follow a man like Kepler. He was a hurricane that Jacobi was lucky enough to be swept into. An un-merciful god that happened to deem Jacobi worthy of his company. Of his trust – or at least Jacobi hoped he was trusted. Kepler let him sleep in the same bed as him, even when they were both armed. He knew Jacobi would never hurt him. That Jacobi would give his life for him and still thank him with his dying breath. <em>Thank you for letting me bleed for you. Thank you for letting me give myself to you. Thank you for making me exist in your world, in your presence, in your light. </em>Jacobi has never been religious, but if he was asked if he believed in god now, he wouldn’t dare say no. Not when Kepler was standing in front of him, turning around and meeting Jacobi’s eyes like that.</p><p>Kepler’s eyes was blue like the sea on a stormy night, and every time he looked at Jacobi – really looked – it took all the breath from Jacobi’s lungs. Like he was drowning. Even with water filling his lungs he would still swim towards kepler. Salty and cold pressure from his chest, slowly pulling him under.<br/>
But, oh, he was already pulled under. Drowning and falling and fallen. He had no intention of swimming against the current. No intention of fighting against the pull.</p><p>He must have been staring for a while, because Kepler was smiling at him. A small smile that told him that Kepler knew what he was thinking. It wasn’t a surprise. Jacobi had been growing more and more predictable around Kepler. Easy to control and mold. But only for Kepler. <em>For you, sir, only for you. The sparks, the explosions, my beating heart. Only for you. Do you see? Please, tell me you see me. </em></p><p>Kepler was walking towards him, shirt discarded somewhere in the small dirty motel room they were currently in. It was around midnight when they had pulled up to the parking lot after another successful mission. The stars were still visible through the mostly closed curtains, but even the shine from them, couldn’t pull Jacobi’s gaze away from Kepler. Looming over him and placing a calloused hand on the side of his face. Caressing his cheek, making Jacobi inhale sharply.</p><p>Jacobi himself wasn’t a big man, but Kepler was tall even by normal standards. His shoulders were wide and he carried his muscles well – not in a model way, but in a functional way. Like a lumber jack, but instead of cutting threes he cut things that would bleed more than resin. He could still smell the metallic scent that hung around Kepler, as he was pulled into a kiss. It wasn’t a soft one; instead controlling and bruisingly hard. Kepler kept a hand on Jacobi’s shoulder to hold him down, as Jacobi tried to pull closer to him. To push himself further into the kiss, closer to the taller man. He couldn’t help but let out a moan, when Kepler bit down on his lip, his mouth instantly filling with the taste of copper.</p><p>Kepler pulled away, as Jacobi tried to catch his breath, still trying to move closer. Brown eyes meeting cold blue ones.</p><p>“Good work today, Mr. Jacobi”</p><p>With that, the hand on his shoulder was removed, and Kepler turned around towards the bathroom. Closing the door behind him. Jacobi was still on the bed, still breathing hard, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. The warmth of the praise made him dizzy, making him wish that Kepler’s hand was still on his shoulder. Keeping him present. Grounding him.</p><p>
  <em> For you, sir. Look at me and I will continue breathing. Look at me. My heart will continue beating. Just for you. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I saw you as another god" - song of the fox, margaret atwood.<br/>I saw the line and instantly my mind went to kepcobi.<br/>I hope you liked it! Not beta-read, so probably filled with mistakes.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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